Speed Metal Dating. Predictions of an outright sausage fest were also rampant on Facebook, and to be honest, I half-expected this to be the inconvenient truth. Us metalheads tend to be awkward in social situations. Why am I wasting my face muscles on you? It turned out to be my best decision of the night. Not only did I get a female perspective on Speed Metal Dating, but when Marisa and I eventually had our own speed date, we got to exchange stories.
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Man, it’s sure been a big month for metal science. First, we found out that metalheads are the most dedicated Spotify listener s; then, we discovered which American state rocks the hardest of them all hint: Bon Jovi is inexplicably not involved. Now, a new survey’s just come out that claims that, not only are metal fans super loyal to their streaming music services, they’re also heartwarmingly devoted to their significant others and assorted fuck friends. A new highly scientific and not at all vague poll reported by UK newspaper The Mirror and collected by adulterer-friendly dating site Victoria Milan surveyed a selection of 6, low-down dirty cheats to find out what they were listening to while thinking about their sidepieces, and the results are in: jazz lovers are stone cold swingers, while heavy metal fans look positively angelic in comparison.
Metal falls dead last in the list of genres included in the poll, which is great news for those of us with a soft spot for long hair and Manowar T-shirts though not so encouraging for salsa enthusiasts. Image via The Mirror. If you’re slightly confused by the notion that the people responsible for The Hottest Chicks in Metal Tour, the band Prostitute Disfigurement, and the entire fetid sub-sub-genre that is pornogrind could actually be a bunch of starry-eyed romantics, bear in mind that the vast majority of metal fans tend to be kind, sensitive, creative people with interests in art, history, or mythology and an appreciation for things that others may deem “weird” or “unacceptable.
As Metalsucks ‘ Emperor Rhombus notes, “Metalheads are grateful. When they find someone or something that sees the good in them, they hold onto it. Of course, the results of this poll could very well be pinned on the fact that most people don’t consider metal their go-to mood setter, and that less people in general listen to heavy metal
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